When I Awake

Just the other day a teenager was talking to me about the coming of Christ.  She mentioned that some people and preachers believe they know when He is coming back and that some say in 2014.  I tried to assure her to not put her faith in men, but put her faith in God and believe the words that Jesus said that no man knows the day or the hour in which Jesus will be returning.  She mentioned that it bothered her because that would mean that she wouldn’t even live to be 19 years old.  I told her not to focus so much on these earthly years, but to make sure she was ready for the coming of the Lord then she would be assured eternal life.

Mark 13:28-33 KJV
²⁸ Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When her branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is near:
²⁹ So ye in like manner, when ye shall see these things come to pass, know that it is nigh, even at the doors.
³⁰ Verily I say unto you, that this generation shall not pass, till all these things be done.
³¹ Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.
³² But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.
³³ Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.

But after this conversation with her, I thought back to when I was a teenager.  I can remember thinking to myself that I wanted to do many things before the Lord came back.  I wanted to get married and become a mother.  I can remember praying that God would let those things happen before Christ returned.  I’m now 35, I have 2 kids, so God answered my prayer to let me be a mother, but I have still never married.  Now that I’m older I still would love to get married, but if it isn’t in God’s Will before the return of Jesus, then it just isn’t meant to be.  I don’t find it sad that I may never marry, because as a Christian, I am already betrothed to Christ and am His Bride. 

Revelation 19:6-9 KJV
⁶ And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying, Alleluia: for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
⁷ Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.
⁸ And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.
⁹ And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.

But I can remember being that teenager who thought that having an earthly relationship with a man was extremely important.  Okay, I find myself now thinking it is important, but the difference now is that back then I was willing to give up everything to have an earthly relationship, including giving up my relationship with God.  I did that very thing and it is one thing that I regret.  I realize God has forgiven me, but I often wonder if I would have waited on God to send me who He wanted me to be with, would my life have turned out differently?  But then again, I serve an all-knowing God, so perhaps when I was praying as a teenager, He already knew I would turn to my own doings to find love instead of waiting on Him, perhaps, that one special man that He had for me wouldn’t be ready for a relationship with me until I was older.  I have honestly been praying without ceasing for the past couple years that God would send me the man He wanted in my life, but this man hasn’t approached me yet.  I don’t understand why, but I’m not angry or heartbroken (not that there haven’t been times when I was a little down because God hasn’t sent me someone), but for some reason, I think that perhaps God wants to ensure that I’m not going to do what I did in the past and turn to my own doings again.  Maybe that’s why I have had to wait so long because He wants to know that I’m completely in love with Him.  After all my past earthly relationships, I think I have to be completely in love with God before I could be totally and completely in love with a man.  Maybe that isn’t the best explanation for it, but in not so many words, I want God to place a love in my heart for the man he wants me to be with and for Him to place a love in that man’s heart for me as well. 

Matthew 6:19-21 KJV
¹⁹ Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
²⁰ But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
²¹ For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

 Deuteronomy 6:5 KJV

And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

I got a little off topic, but my point is, I don’t know everything about what God has planned for me in my earthly life, but I do know that nothing in the world is worth losing my own soul for, not even the love of a man. 

Mark 8:36 KJV

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to end this post.  I wrote all of the above last night, but I just didn’t feel I was done with it yet, so I saved it instead of posting it last night.  I continued to search through Scriptures, but couldn’t find any that I felt I needed to add to this post.  So I decided to go to bed and ended up praying myself to sleep.  I prayed for many loved ones, for that someone special to come in my life, and the last thing I can remember that I prayed for was something that I asked God to give me as a Christmas present from Him.  He has given me so many gifts, from the birth of Christ to my children, from my salvation to my daily needs, etc, but I don’t think I have ever asked him for a Christmas present.  I know I prayed for it and everything else only if it was in His Will, so if I don’t get that special Christmas present then it just wasn’t His Will.  I fell asleep and had a dream; I don’t remember a whole lot about it though.  It wasn’t really vivid but I remember being at church and was going to sing Psalm 17.  I woke up at 2 in the morning and all I could think of was that I needed to read that Scripture.  I was so tired that I fell back to sleep before reading it, but I woke up again at 5 a.m. and the Lord just wasn’t going to let me go back to sleep until I read it.  The Scripture almost brought me to tears as it kind of seemed to fall in to the category of many things I had mentioned in this post, so I’m going to finish this post with the words of a prayer of David.

Psalm 17 KJV

¹ Hear the right, O LORD, attend unto my cry, give ear unto my prayer, that goeth not out of feigned lips.
² Let my sentence come forth from thy presence; let thine eyes behold the things that are equal.
³ Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me in the night; thou hast tried me, and shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress.
⁴ Concerning the works of men, by the word of thy lips I have kept me from the paths of the destroyer.
⁵ Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not.
⁶ I have called upon thee, for thou wilt hear me, O God: incline thine ear unto me, and hear my speech.
⁷ Shew thy marvellous lovingkindness, O thou that savest by thy right hand them which put their trust in thee from those that rise up against them.
⁸ Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings,
⁹ From the wicked that oppress me, from my deadly enemies, who compass me about.
¹⁰ They are inclosed in their own fat: with their mouth they speak proudly.
¹¹ They have now compassed us in our steps: they have set their eyes bowing down to the earth;
¹² Like as a lion that is greedy of his prey, and as it were a young lion lurking in secret places.
¹³ Arise, O LORD, disappoint him, cast him down: deliver my soul from the wicked, which is thy sword:
¹⁴ From men which are thy hand, O LORD, from men of the world, which have their portion in this life, and whose belly thou fillest with thy hid treasure: they are full of children, and leave the rest of their substance to their babes.
¹⁵ As for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness: I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.