Let me start off by saying that this may be one of the very few times I will ever do this, but fellas, I’m on your side. Sure, I can’t deny that there have been a few times in my life where I was the typical man-hater. It’s hard not to be when you find out your boyfriend is cheating on you or the man you are dating turned out to be married. True stories, but those are the guys who give good men a bad reputation. I say that because while I have dated a few snakes in the grass, I have also dated men who loved and respected me and even though they treated me the way a woman should be treated, I still looked for those little things that made him out to be the bad guy. Something the poor guy did wasn’t good enough, wasn’t romantic enough, or I just thought he should have done something that he didn’t even realize that I wanted him to do. Does that make the guy a bad guy? Nope!
We Fix Our Eyes Upon The Small Imperfections
This past Christmas break, my 7 year old, first grade son grabbed his notebook and ink pen and sat down beside me and began to draw a picture one night. I was watching a movie and wasn’t really paying much attention to what he was drawing because he is always drawing something. When he was finished he held up the notebook and said, “Look, Mom!” He had drawn a picture of a girl with a big smile on her face. I asked who she was. I assumed he was going to say it was his sister or someone in the family, but instead he responded with, “It’s Jacqueline. She’s my girlfriend at school.” I smiled and told him how pretty she was and that he had done a good job drawing her. He then took the picture in his bedroom and colored it all in and brought it back to show me yet again. This time he had written at the top, I love you, Jakulin. Once again, I told him how pretty his picture was and he began telling me how much he missed seeing her while they were out of school. He said he was going to give her the picture on their first day back. As a woman and a mother, I thought it was one of the sweetest things ever. A few days later the day he had been waiting for came and he headed back to school. When we got home that night, I went through all the papers in his backpack and I came across the picture he had made for Jacqueline. I asked him why he didn’t give his picture to her and he replied, “I did, but she said that’s not how you spell her name so she didn’t want it”. It immediately made me think of how women really are. We are always looking or expecting a man to do something for us whether it is something romantic or something to let us know they are thinking of us and then when they finally do it, we as women sometimes don’t think it’s good enough or we don’t want it. We overlook the effort that the man put into it. We fix our eyes upon the small imperfections instead of the time and thought that was put into the gesture.
It’s The Smaller Things In Life That Truly Matter
From looking back on a few past relationships with some of the good guys I dated, I can see where some men make small gestures because that’s all they know how to do or can afford to do. Then we as women don’t see them for the romantics that they really are. Perhaps he brought a flower home and gave it to you for Valentine’s Day, but that wasn’t romantic enough because you wanted a dozen red roses sent to you at work. It doesn’t mean that he loves you any less than if he had sent you two dozen roses. He thought of you and that in itself should be enough. I have been single for almost 2 years now and if a man walked into my employer covered in mud and looking a hot mess, smelled like dirt and he had one single, yellow daisy that he picked from off the side of the road and he thought enough of me to bring and give it to me, it would be the sweetest, most romantic moment ever. Perhaps that is because I have been single so long and my perspective of romance has changed in the past couple years, but my point is, it shouldn’t take a dozen red roses for you to know that someone loves or cares about you, it’s the smaller things in life that truly matter. I would however be praying that he doesn’t always look and smell like that. But hey, if you are a single guy (covered in mud or not) and interested in sweeping me off my feet, here’s an FYI for you, my favorite flowers are yellow roses, so feel free to put that information in your arsenal (but truth be known, any flower would do). :)
You Gotta Cut A Guy Some Slack
The last story I’m going to tell you isn’t one of love or romance, but it is one of a caring friendship. A few years back my birthday was approaching and I worked around mostly men at the time. I had mentioned to an older man that the only thing I wanted for my birthday was a single red rose. My birthday soon came and I got to work that morning and was walking into the break room. As I was walking in, my older co-worker was walking out and he told me Happy Birthday, then he said, “Oh, I have your rose on my forklift”. You can’t imagine the excitement that I felt knowing that he remembered exactly what it was that I wanted for my birthday and he actually got it for me. So, I hurried up and headed to his forklift to get my red rose before I had to start work. I walked over to him sitting on his forklift and he handed it to me. He was so happy to be giving it to me, I can still see the smile on his face, but unfortunately he would never make it as a professional florist because the single red rose he handed me, was in fact a single red tulip. Everyone around us had a good laugh about it, but in all honestly, it was the sweetest gift I was given for my birthday that year. It didn’t matter to me that he got the flower wrong, what mattered was that he cared enough to even get me a flower at all, even if he did pick it out of his neighbors yard or so he claimed. Sometimes ladies, you just gotta cut a guy some slack.
Don’t Reject Genuine Effort
Take it from me, there are guys out there who have the total romance thing down to a science; I haven’t ever met one yet (I personally only think they exist in the movies), but don’t overlook the men who are trying to show you they love and care about you. There are so many single women like myself out there who would absolutely love to have a special someone to do little things for them to let them know they care or are thinking of them. So don’t reject genuine effort. Always appreciate any and all efforts made on a man’s part. After all, don’t you want him to appreciate all the little things you do for him?
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. James 1:17 KJV
And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. Ephesians 5:2 KJV