Pushing Through The Crowd

And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment: For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be made whole.  But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.  And the woman was made whole from that hour.  Matthew 9:20-22 KJV

Pushing Through The Crowd

She was a woman diseased

She knew of a certain man

Who worked miracles for people

I’m not sure if she could stand

But through the crowd

She made her way

Her faith was strong

On that glorious day

As she got close enough

To touch the hem of His clothes

Perhaps she didn’t think He would feel

Her presence so small, but all He knows

He knew she was there all along

Pushing her way closer to Him

Knowing her faith in Him so strong

She knew by just touching His hem

He would do her no wrong

For He made her whole

Because her faith in Him was so strong

Twelve long years of disease

God healed her and now it was gone.

 

I’m pushing through the crowd

Getting closer with every step

My faith growing stronger

The closer to Him I get

Then pain and doubt push me down

So on my hands and knees I crawl

Wiggling through the crowd I go

Just need my Saviour, that’s all

I believe if I reach Him

All things will be made whole

I just need to touch the hem

This is my ultimate goal

I see the miracles He performs

For all those surrounding me

And I know He knows I’m here

And the closer to Him I will be

I’m almost there, oh yes I am

I’m stretching forth my hand

To touch the hem of His garment

So that I may be whole again

 

LaDawn Cossey

October 28, 2013

And when the men of that place had knowledge of him, they sent out into all that country round about, and brought unto him all that were diseased;  And besought him that they might only touch the hem of his garment: and as many as touched were made perfectly whole.  Matthew 14:35-36 KJV

I feel like I’m pushing through the crowd.  I’m just trying to get to where I need to be.  I see God working miracles left and right for all the people around me.  I feel so selfish thinking, God what about me?  God performs these big miracles for others and it’s like I’m down on my knees unable to get up, knowing that what I need is so mediocre compared to the needs of others.  Which could probably be God telling me that I need to focus on the needs of others rather than my own small needs.  But still, my needs are closer on my mind.  It’s not that I’m not happy to see the great things God does in others lives; it is just that I want those things for myself too.  I know God can do it, but sometimes I just can’t see anything happening.  So, here I am.  I’m pushing, wiggling, and squeezing my way through the crowd because I know my God is so much bigger than any problem, want, or need that I have in my life.  If only I could reach the hem of his garment.  Only then will I feel the Power of being made complete.  Only then will my faith make me whole. 

I could turn from the crowd and seek to solve things on my own, but what I would find would only be temporary and what I want; what I need is the security only found in a Saviour that is everlasting.  I’m seeking the things of God; I’m not seeking the things of this world.  So, here I am, saying this to myself, Don’t give up!  Keep on pushing through the crowd to get what is right in the eyes of God because settling for anything less will leave you empty when you can have what God has for you.  You can and will be made whole.

This Little Light Of Mine

^{Command the children of Israel, that they bring unto thee pure oil olive beaten for the light, to cause the lamps to burn continually.  Leviticus 24:2 KJV}

^{One night last week I had a dream.  A friend of mine gave another friend and I each a lamp.  These lamps were beautiful.  The artwork was so vibrant and colorful.  They also had a cross etched on them.  I was so excited that my friend gave me a lamp, I couldn’t wait to fill mine with oil, burn it, and let it shine.  However, my friend said she was going to fill hers up with water and set it up on her shelf.  I tried explaining to her that water would not burn and thus, the lamp wouldn’t be as beautiful as it could be if she didn’t fill it with oil and let it burn.  She got upset with me and told me that she didn’t need me tell her what to fill her lamp up with.  I woke up thinking about the significance of these two lamps.} 

^{My friend’s lamp was full of water.  It was still very pretty with the cross adorned on it and it made a nice decoration.  Then there was my lamp that was full of oil.  Burning it made the cross glow and the light that was shown was simply beautiful.  It was so much more than just a decoration.}

^{I felt like my friend’s lamp was like a person who has Christ in their life.  The outside looks pretty, but she put the wrong things inside her vessel and thus, caused it not to shine for Christ the way it should be able to.  These things that I refer to could be anything, maybe it’s something they have watched on television, music that doesn’t glorify God, or it could just be they put other things in their life before God.  Whatever it is, it doesn’t fill their lamp up with the oil that it needs to burn for Jesus.}

^{My lamp was like a Christian who wants to shine bright for the Lord.  They long for a closer relationship with God.  He puts the things of the Lord in his vessel like reading his Bible, prays without ceasing, etc.  All of these things help his lamp shine, not for his own glory but for the Glory of God.}

^{After thinking on this dream, it made me think of all the things that I could do to help fill my lamp up with oil.   I could be reading my Bible more, I could be praying more, I could be praising God more.  Even as a child, I have always been a quiet and timid person.  I don’t like drawing attention to myself and I don’t like being in front of people, but I hope that those things don’t hold back my shine for Christ.  I think that is one reason why I started this blog.  It’s one way that I pray God lets His light shine through me.} 

^{I was talking with someone the other day and telling them about how Justice stood up to testify at Church for the first time Sunday night.  It blessed my heart that he wants to tell people that “Jesus loves everybody”.  He is so bold and I hope that he continues to be this bold for Christ as he grows up.  I want nothing more than to see his little light shine for Jesus!}

^{I wanted to end this blog with one of my favorite Scriptures.  I hope it encourages you to fill your lamp with oil so that you are ready when Jesus comes again.  Let your light shine!}

^{Matthew 25:1-13 KJV}

¹ Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.
² And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.
³ They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:
⁴ But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.
⁵ While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
⁶ And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.
⁷ Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.
⁸ And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.
⁹ But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.
¹⁰ And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
¹¹ Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.
¹² But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.
¹³ Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

“I don’t need everyone to hear me say I’m a Christian, but I need everyone to SEE Christ in me.” -Unknown

Not Just Any Man

One of my Aunts gave me some words of encouragement at my family reunion yesterday.  She had read a post that I had put on facebook about finding that special someone.  She said she was going to comment, but wasn’t sure how to word it.  I’m paraphrasing her because I don’t remember her exact words, but she told me that I was made in God’s image, so I didn’t need to think that I wasn’t beautiful or wasn’t good enough because I look exactly how God wants me to look.  Then she went on to tell me that God will provide a special man for me and that I didn’t want just anyone, I want the one that God has for me.  She also said that she knew I didn’t want just anyone helping me raise Justice and that he had to be a very special guy for that job.  I say, “job” because we are talking about Justice here.  Just joking, but all jokes aside, my aunt was on the money when she said that I didn’t want just anyone, because I don’t.  I want only the best for him and for myself and I only want who God wants in our lives. 

After talking to my Aunt, for some reason Mary and Joseph came into my head.  Sometimes I feel as if I know a little about what it must have felt like for Mary.  It must have been hard for her, when people around her wanted to kill her young child, specifically Herod. 

“And when they were departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeareth to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt, and be thou there until I bring thee word: for Herod will seek the young child to destroy him.  When he arose, he took the young child and his mother by night, and departed into Egypt:  And was there until the death of Herod: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Out of Egypt have I called my son.”  Matthew 2:13-15 KJV

It doesn’t say that Mary was made aware of the dream that Joseph had, but I’m certain she knew something was going on because why would Joseph get up and take her and the child and flee without reason.  Mary had to know that they were in danger for Joseph to do those things or Joseph may have enlightened her about the dream and what the Angel of the Lord said to him.  Either way, I think Mary had to know that someone wanted to harm her child.

I feel as if I can relate to that because there were many people around me when I found out I was pregnant with Justice whom didn’t want him to be born.    I had friends who weren’t happy about the fact that Justice would be half African American and they didn’t think that I should have the baby because he would be mixed.  I was told how this would be hard for not only a child growing up biracial, but that it would also be hard on me raising a biracial child and also hard for my daughter having to deal with having a biracial sibling.  These friends suggested that I abort my unborn child and one in which after I refused said that she was praying I would have a miscarriage.  But it wasn’t just a few of my friends who had something to say, there were people who judged my baby based on who his biological father is.  He wasn’t a good man and thus, that is why Justice has never known him.  But I had friends who thought his father was reason enough to get an abortion.  But that isn’t all.  When I found out I was pregnant I was going through a custody battle for my daughter.  It wasn’t a pretty one and was extremely hard on her and myself.  The fact that I was pregnant by a bad man, didn’t look good on me and thus, wasn’t favorable for me in court.  That’s why even lawyers told me, “If there was no baby….”  They didn’t want to come right out and say it, but they suggested it in a round about way that I should get an abortion.  I can remember saying these words to my mother, “How can I justify killing one child to save another?”  That is exactly what I would have been doing, killing my child.  God created that little life inside me, it didn’t matter who fathered that baby; that baby was just that, a baby and I would never be able to justify a reason to kill him by having an abortion.  So, yeah, it might not be the greatest comparison, but I think I know what Mary might have felt like knowing that people didn’t want her child to live.  It’s a feeling that is hard to explain and a feeling that no pregnant woman should ever have to feel.  Needless to say, I had a very emotional pregnancy.  I always felt that God’s justice would prevail because only He could decide if that little life would live or die.  It wasn’t up to me or anyone else in this world to determine.  In my heart I felt as if God’s justice prevailed on the day I gave birth to my son and that is the reason his name is what it is, Justice.  I’ve always said that God must have some really big plans for him, for so many people to be against him before he was even born.

But getting back to what I was thinking about when Mary and Joseph came to my mind.  When I think about Mary, I think about how God gave her not just any man, but “a just man”. (Matthew 1:19)  God wanted only the best man to help raise Mary’s child.  I really want the best man for myself because like I said earlier, I don’t want just anyone helping to raise my child either.  I know if God can provide a good and “just” man for Mary that He can do the same exact thing for me too. 

While I was sitting here writing this tonight, Justice came running out of his room to give me a picture that he had drawn.  He did this to kill some time because it was already past his bedtime, but I found it went along with what I was writing about tonight and how I wanted only the man God wanted to help raise him.  This is the picture and Justice said it was of himself, me, and the dad that he has been praying for.  How sweet and precious is that!