Sunday, December 15, 2013

The Dream

I was walking out of Church on a beautiful, bright Sunday.  A man walking beside me talking to me as my 7 year old son took off running to my car.  As the man and I walked side by side, he put his arm around my waist.  It felt good feeling a bit of companionship because I haven’t had that in quite a long time.  Then all of a sudden he pushed the right side of my hip as close as he could get it to the left side of his hip.  It was as if we were attached at the hip, so to speak.  I could tell he was excited about the new companionship and to be honest, so was I.  I looked into his eyes and thought to myself, What are all the people at Church going to think about us being so close to each other?  This all seems so sudden.  But no more had I had that thought when I had another, But if he cares so much about me that he doesn’t care what everyone else thinks, then why should I?  After all, we both know this is what God wants.  We got to my car and he looked into my eyes and said, “You won’t see me for a little while because I need to go make some money to take you out on a date, but I promise I will see you just as soon as I can.”  I then told him how I understood, but once I was inside my car I thought to myself, Why does this man love me?  He probably deserves so much more than I can give him.

The next day had come and as I arrived at my job I was surprised to see him in the parking lot of my employer.  He was in a food truck and was getting ready to serve food to anyone who was willing to buy it.  I got out of my car and approached him.  He told me how he was hoping to sell some food to the people who were working inside the building.  I really wanted to help him so I took out a pen and paper and I went inside.  I gathered as many orders for food as I could and then took them back to him.  We served food to many people and I knew he had made a little bit of money.  I asked him how much and he told me that it was somewhere around one hundred and fifty dollars.  I told him how I felt that was pretty good, but he responded by saying, “It isn’t enough.”  I couldn’t believe what he was saying because he had said at Church that he just needed to make enough to take me on a date and I knew that was more than enough to take me on a date because I really don’t need anything fancy or anything special.  So, I asked, “Why isn’t that enough?”  He said, “If we are going to be a family then I need to bring in more money than that to provide for us.  It just isn’t enough.”  I reassured him that God would provide for us, after all, we already knew this was God’s Will for our lives.  I told him of places that I thought he could make more money, but he said those places weren’t going to make enough money either.  So, we traveled from place to place in search of somewhere he could provide for the family.  I compiled a box full of files about information that I thought might help him in his search.  As we were sitting in the vehicle, him sitting behind the wheel and I sitting in the passenger’s seat, he began to look through the files.

Suddenly, my cell phone rang and I answered it.  The voice on the other side of the phone was my ex-boyfriend.  I could tell by his tone of voice that he was upset that I had found someone to be with.  He kept talking to me about anything and everything that he could think of just to keep me on the line even though he knew I didn’t have the slightest interest in what he had to say.  All of a sudden I look out the windshield of the vehicle we were sitting in and it was moving and headed straight for a tree.  I screamed, “Don’t hit the tree!”  He then slammed on the brakes.  I was trying to calm myself down, but was still on the phone with my ex whom didn’t have any concern about what had just happened.  So much that he said, “I need to make supper, but I’m not sure what I want.”  When I heard him say that the panic I had just endured turned into frustration and I raised my voice to him and said, “What is it that you want?!?!”  My ex-boyfriend replied, “Meatloaf, I guess.  Why are you getting so upset about what I have for supper?”  I laughed within myself, Meatloaf?  I calmed myself down and replied, “No, not what do you want for supper, but what do you want from me?  I have nothing left to give you and I’m with who I am supposed to be with and where I am supposed to be because that is what I want, because it is what God wants, so what is it that you want from me?” 

Ugh, dreams!  I woke up this morning from having the above paragraphs as a dream.  This dream stayed with me all day long, in my thoughts all morning long at church, in my head all afternoon, in my head tonight at church, and yup, as you can see, it’s still in my head.  I could psychoanalyze this dream, you could psychoanalyze this dream, everyone who reads this post could psychoanalyze this dream, but none of us would probably come up with the same analysis.  I’m a firm believer that sometimes dreams mean something.  Sometimes God tries to speak to us and I have said it before and will say it again, God has spoken to me through my dreams before.  Perhaps that is why when I have such a vivid dream that I seem to dwell on it, looking for some hidden message or an obvious message if it is there to find.  But is there a message within this particular dream?  Only God above knows the answer to that question because as much as I can sit here and dissect it bit by bit, I will probably never even reach the tip of what it really means.

When I have dreams like this, it reminds me of Joseph.  The dreams he had and how God showed him so many things within them.  God had a plan for him and when I think about it, God’s plan was basically planned around his dreams.  Not only did God show him things within his own dreams, but also showed him things within other’s dreams.  By doing so he was able to fulfill God’s plan to preserve the lives of so many people including the lives of his brothers who sold him into slavery.  So, when I think about the dreams that I sometimes have and how there is no clear picture of what it may or may not mean, I guess it always makes me curious as to whether God is trying to tell me something.  Perhaps it seems a little silly, but even Joseph’s brothers probably thought Joseph’s dreams were silly too, but in the end, God had a plan.

Genesis 45:4-8 KJV
“And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you.  And they came near.  And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt.  Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life.  For these two years hath the famine been in the land: and yet there are five years, in the which there shall neither be earing nor harvest.  And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.  So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout the land of Egypt.”

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