Stuck On The Thought Of You

I laid down in bed tonight and couldn't seem to fall asleep.  I wanted to somehow put some thoughts on paper, but I didn't really even know what I wanted to say or even how I want to say it.  I began to think of a story that most know nothing about and this poem seemed to fall into place.  It isn't some of my best work, but it explains in a way how life kinda feels right now.  Sometimes you don't want to dance until someone pulls you out on the dance floor, sometimes you have no interest in fishing until someone baits your fishing pole, and sometimes you don't even realize that you want to do just a little bit of something until you get stuck on thoughts of what you wish you could do.  I'm not really down about being single, but with Valentines Day just around the corner, it stands as a reminder that there isn't that special someone to dance with in my life.  

Stuck On The Thought Of You

"I'm gonna take you dancing"

You said the words so boldly

"But I don't dance" are the words

That you got back from me

"Then we will go fishing"

Are the words you replied

"I don't fish either"

And I blushed as you tried

Again to sway my response

"We will find something to do"

I thought it was a joke

I really had no single clue

Until someone told me

You really meant what you said

"He said to text him" I was told

I'm certain my face turned beet red

Then I began to want to dance

I wanted to catch a little fish

I wanted to do something

And it became my own little wish

I wanted my feet to move

I wanted my head to spin

I wanted to my body to sway

My heart pounding deep within

I wanted to bait the hook

I wanted to lure a fish in

I wanted the catch of the day

Then do it all over again

I wanted to do something

Or maybe a little of nothing at all

It didn't have to be anything big

It could have been something small

But you will never be able

To teach me to dance

To twirl me around

As others take a glance

You will never be able

To fish with me off the dock

My heart will stay in the tackle box

That you will forever keep locked

We will never be able

To do something small

Never be able to do

Anything together at all

I tell myself, "It's gonna be okay"

Every day that I awake

I have to keep hope alive

It is for my own sake

Perhaps I will learn to dance

One day on my own

Maybe go fishing

And not go all alone

Perhaps I will find someone

And have something we can do

But until that day comes

I'm stuck on the thought of you

- LaDawn Cossey

February 5, 2015

A Single Teardrop

Happy Birthday to the best Mom 

a little girl or grown woman 

could ever ask for!

Below is a picture that I know she holds dear to her heart and as I have grown up, it has become dear to mine too.  I based my newest poem on the story behind this picture. It is one of the sweetest stories of my childhood.  Mom had taken me to get my picture made and I cried because I didn't want to get it made all by myself.  Despite the fact that she didn't want her picture taken, she did it anyway to stop me from crying.  I was such a Momma's girl back then and to be honest, I still am!  In the picture you may see my little grin, but if you look close enough you can also see a tear in my eye.    This picture is proof of the bond that we have always shared as mother and daughter.  She has always been my rock.  It's no wonder that I consider her my best friend.  From the moment I was born she has always been there for me. 

Thank you, Mom, for always doing everything 

you could to turn my tears into smiles!   

Happy Birthday!  I love you!

A Single Teardrop

A single teardrop

On my little round face

A big ole smile

No one could erase

Momma seen my tears

As I began to cry

She didn't understand

So, she questioned me, "Why?"

I didn't want my picture

All by myself; all alone

Momma didn't want hers either

But her heart was not of stone

She gave of herself again

On what seemed an ordinary day

She sat down beside me

So everything for me would be okay

She put a smile on my face

Even with a tear in my eye

No momma wants her baby sad

Or wants her baby girl to cry

So, she put on a smile

For the camera with her girl

Not realizing one day this picture

Would mean the world

To a momma with the memory

Of her baby who loved her dear

So much that when getting her picture

She even wanted her mom near

Now the tear in her baby's eye

In the picture of the two

Brings a tear to Momma's eye

When she brings it out to view

It demonstrates a close relationship

Between daughter and Mom

A bond continued from birth

A bond that remains so strong

Even with tears in their eyes

Smiles still shine through

For the special love they share

Will stay forever and ever true

-LaDawn Cossey

January 22, 2015

A Mother Out Of Me

Today is my firstborn, Destiny's 14th birthday.  I can remember as a little girl playing with my dolls and how I would dream of being a mother some day.  I remember as a teenager dreaming of having a baby girl and being her mother.  I always wanted a daughter and to be honest, I wanted a daughter when I was pregnant with Justice too, but we don't have to tell him about that. :)

In my late teens, I remember praying one night and asking God if I would ever get the opportunity to be a mom.  I asked Him to give me a dream to answer my question and that night He did.  I dreamt of a little girl with blonde, curly hair and bright blue eyes.  I knew if I ever had a baby that I would be having a girl.  I knew her name would be Destiny because she was the little girl in my dream who was destined to be mine.

I wrote this poem earlier this week for Destiny.  She made my biggest dream come true and I thank God for her every day.  She is the sweetest, wackiest girl I know.  She is so much like her momma that it isn't even funny. :)  My life wouldn't be complete without her in it.

Happy 14th Birthday, Destiny! 

Thank you for being the daughter of my dreams!

I love you more than you will ever know!



A Mother Out Of Me

As a little girl I would daydream

Of the woman I would grow to be

I wanted to fall deeply in love

And live a life full of happiness and glee

As a teenage girl I would daydream

Of adulthood and all it would bring

I wanted it all, career and family

All in all, I wanted for everything

As a young woman I would daydream

Of the life I was just starting to live

It was full of excitement of the unknown

I had so much to offer; so much to give

You see as a little girl daydreaming

With my baby doll I would play

I fell so deeply in love

With the daughter I would have someday

And as a teenager daydreaming

Of the adult I desperately wanted to be

You were everything I wanted

You were the best part of my family

Then as a young woman daydreaming

As I found out I was with child

The unknown became scary and exciting

And I knew life was worth the while

My entire life I spent dreaming of a daughter

Her blonde hair and her eyes of blue

Then one day, God saw the desire of my heart

And He made my every dream come true

It was on that special day I became

Who my whole life I always dreamed I would be

That cold, snowy day my dreams came true

When you being born, made a mother out of me

- LaDawn Cossey

December 30, 2014

The Lord Up Above

She was with child 

And ready to pop

He wasn't the father 

Yet didn't question God

He trusted in His guidance

To lead them all the way

And to a little stable

She delivered in the hay

He loved that little boy

As if he were his very own

He raised him up to be

None other than a carpenter's son

He listened to the angels

Who told him where to go

For he couldn't trust himself

For everything he didn't know

He traveled mile after mile

To make sure his son was safe

The road map was given 

Through the road God paved

There was a special purpose

For this little boy's life

And he had to believe

It was worth all the strife

Because he wasn't just the son 

Of one Joseph and of one Mary

But the Son of God above

The debt of the world he would carry

And though they didn't understand

They knew they had their love

And the guidance and protection

Of The Lord up above

He was working three jobs

Trying to make ends meet

It sure isn't easy to do

When you have six kids to feed

But on every Sunday morning

They piled all those kids up

In their old Volkeswagen car

Off to church, The Lord to worship

He had two bills in his wallet

One hundred and one ten

It was all he had to pay bills,

And to feed all his children

When the offering plate

Was passed around that day

He threw in his offering

With his tithes he did pay

When he got home from church

He realized what he had done

The wrong bill he put in the offering

Now his hundred dollars was gone

But he did not question

The reasons behind the mistake

He told Momma, "Don't worry

The Lord would provide, just wait"

He knew they had each other 

And all of their love

A blessing was sure to come

From The Lord up above

She was 300 miles away

From all of her family

Working hard to provide

But nothing came easily

She stretched every dollar

From payday to payday

But there was never enough

And she never saw a way

There was no money

For diapers or for food

And she often wondered

What it was she should do

More times than she could count

She called up her mom and dad

Explaining all of her struggles 

And how she was oh so sad

Through words spoke through a phone

They lifted her spirits up a lot

Ensuring her that she wasn't all alone

She had them & she had God

Though she never understood 

Why things had to be that way

She knew it was a lesson learned

And would give her a reason to say,

"Though I can't understand why

Things always happen the way they do

I'm thankful for everything 

The good Lord has brought me through

I'm thankful for all the compassion

Given through my parent's love

And for the love, hope, peace, and forgiveness

Of my Lord and Saviour up above"

- LaDawn Cossey

December 22, 2014

Lord, I'm Here and I'm Waiting on You

I have found in my life that anything I try to do on my own seems to fail.  Honestly, I have no idea why I think my plans or ideas are better than the Lord's above, but often I get the mentality that I know how things should be.  I don't take the time to stop and ask God for directions because I think my GPS won't steer me wrong.  My GPS can easily lose signal and when it does, it repeats, "turn left" over and over again; sending me in circles.  So, don't let your GPS send you turning left when you can easily access God's GPS through prayer and He will always send you turning right.

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." Psalm 119:105 KJV

"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6 KJV

Lord, I'm Here and I'm Waiting on You

I'm walking down this narrow path

Unsure of where it leads

The night grows dark oh so fast

Til black is all I can see

But I don't scare too easily

I have no reason to fear

I know You are on Your way

I know You are so near

So, I won't run and I won't hide

From the things I cannot see

I won't jump and I won't scream

From the things surrounding me

I will stand here strong & bold

I will remain faithful & true

For I know You will protect me

So, Lord, I'm here and I'm waiting on You

There You are in the nick of time

With a light so big and bright 

It's a miracle knowing You are here

Turning the darkness into light

You see what is in front of me

And prepare my every step

You take my hand and lead the way

So I can be exactly where I need to get

So, I won't run and I won't hide

Because You are here with me

I won't jump and I won't scream

Because You are all I can see

You give me strength to be so bold

Even when I haven't got a clue

My eyes are focused on You alone

And Lord, I'm here and I'm waiting on You

-LaDawn Cossey

December 14, 2014

The Never-Been-Married Middle Aged Woman’s Perspective of the Single Life

The never-been-married, middle aged woman’s perspective of the single life is one that can be summed up in three little words; she hates it!  She may put on a smile (a fake one, I might add) and she may throw a joke or two your way and odds are they are probably about being single, but that doesn’t mean that she is happy about it.  All the fake smiles she puts on her face turn upside down when she is lying across her bed crying herself to sleep at night because she is lonely.

The most appalling question you could ever ask this woman is, “Why are you still single?”  In her mind, she hears the words, “So, what’s wrong with you?”  Maybe she has many faults, but that doesn't mean that every person who is married doesn't have faults too. 

Married friends, she doesn't want to hear your mediocre complaints about your husband.  She doesn’t care if he wouldn’t watch The Notebook with you because he wanted to watch the Super Bowl instead, she doesn’t care if he forgot to put the toilet seat down, and she doesn’t care that he left his socks on the floor.  Whatever it is that you think is so bad about your significant other, well, just get over it!  She would much rather have these problems herself and her advice to you would probably be enjoy spending some time with him while watching the Super Bowl, put the toilet seat down and be thankful that at least he remembered to lift it, and pick up those dirty socks for him because it just shows that he needs you.  She thinks that you should focus less on the things that he does wrong and more on the things that he does right; like loving you.

Divorced friends, you may think the whole wedding ordeal and marriage is overrated, but you don't understand that you have had that experience and she hasn't.  So, don't stress to her that you think she is better off being single because you had a failed marriage and you don't think marriage lives up to all the hype.  You don't understand what it is like to never have experienced marriage.  You may also think she has gotten too old to do the whole wedding thing and if she ever does get married she should just hit up the county courthouse.  But her age doesn't change the fact that she still wants the feeling of having her dad walk her down the aisle and see her groom at the altar with a smile.  Every little girl’s dream is of getting married and the perfect wedding day and even if she is still unwed in her mid-thirties; she still wants to have that dream come true.

Older married couples, you may look at her and say that you understand but if you aren’t or have never been in her shoes then frankly, she doesn't think you are in a position to understand.  If you have been married for boo coo years, then you don’t understand what it’s like to not have someone there.  You have always had that special person to help with the kids or to help figure problems out.  You have always had that someone to go to when you just want to spend time with someone and you don't want to be alone.  You can be objective and see that things are hard, but until you have been in her situation then you will never truly understand.  You can try to encourage her; perhaps tell her that it’s all in God’s timing or you know the right man will eventually come along, but most of the time your encouraging words are falling on deaf ears because she hurts in ways that she knows you will never be able to truly understand.

She studies married couples.  Whether she realizes she does this or not, odds are she looks at a man’s wife and thinks to herself, Surely, I’m just as special or good of a woman as she is.  She also sees men who are married to woman who have serious issues with addiction or cheating and she wonders how those women are more deserving of a husband than she is.  They clearly do not appreciate a husband as much as she would.  Sometimes she just wonders if God thinks she doesn’t deserve to have a husband.  Even though she knows that she does deserve the love and attention of a man, she doesn’t know if God will ever bless her with it.

She attracts married men.  This doesn’t mean she wants to attract married men, but they seem to prey on her type.  She is lonely and craves attention and married men like to feed on those emotions.  Married men often worry about the feelings of their wife and children if they were to find out he was unfaithful; however, they tend to overlook that the other woman has feelings too.  Whether she knew he was married or not, he still toyed with her emotions and put her in that situation.  Married men there is only one solution to this issue; don’t cheat!  Single women there is only one solution to this issue for you too; run, as fast as you can, run!

For the never-been-married, middle-aged, single woman who also has children who have never known a father there is more added stress to her equation.  Disciplining her children is a must, but she feels as if she is the bad guy 24/7.  There isn’t someone to help with disciplining, so she doesn’t get a break.  It scares her that her children are going to remember her as being nothing but miserable, grumpy and mean.

So, if you know a never-been-married, single, middle-aged woman out there then please try to cut her some slack.  She leads a life that many do not and will not ever be able to understand.  She’s just hoping that one day she understands the meaning and purpose behind the struggle.

Here Comes The Bride...

You have heard the saying, “Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.”  That sums it up for me.  Although I have never even been a bridesmaid either and if I’m being honest, I’m not too upset about that;  have you seen some of those hideous bridesmaid’s dresses?  Seriously though, for a woman at my age (I know I’m only in my late 30’s, but still I’m no spring chicken in the single world), it seems as if I will never get the blessing of being a bride.  While I may never walk down the aisle on this earth, I do have the promise of being the bride of Christ.  I’m certain He won’t leave me standing at the altar.  His promises are true and His love is everlasting.  I could never find that here on earth.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.  Proverbs 31:10 KJV

Other than my father, I don’t know of another man here on this earth who would value me more than rubies.  However, I do know as His bride, Christ values us that much and more.  He can offer us so much more than any man here on earth ever could.  Ladies, He promises you a mansion, streets of gold, pearly gates and the list goes on and on.  Doesn’t that sound so much better than an earthly diamond ring? Oh, and as an added bonus;  I don’t see anywhere in the Bible that says He will be in control of the television remote and force you to watch Monday Night Football!  Ladies, can I get an AMEN?  (Fellas, if you are reading this and one of you might possibly be my future earthly husband, then I’m only joking.  The remote is yours, but can we compromise and watch a chick flick during the offseason?)

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22 KJV

Ladies, whether you are young, old, or somewhere in between, while you are preparing for your Heavenly wedding continue to be the good thing that God made you to be here on earth.  It is hard to resist when a man makes promises and shows you attention.  However, a man should respect you and your temple and if he cannot do that, then he isn’t the right man for you.  He would only want for you what God, Himself would want for you.  Don’t give yourself away for the temporary love or things of this world.  Focus on Heavenly things and the eternal love of Christ.  Above all, don’t leave the only Groom that truly matters standing at the altar. 

Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.  Revelation 19:7 KJV